I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She announced her abortion via fbk
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
