The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
there is puke in my bra ... again
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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