just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
