Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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