i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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