i think my tv is drunk
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
