My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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