I think I am morally bankrupt
you traded sex for a burrito?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
