I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
