i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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