I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
