What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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