You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
