i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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