I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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