So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
