Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
