The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
