Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
