I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
