no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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