I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
