Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize