Soap is not a condiment
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
