I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize