no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
