the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
