so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
