i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
did you just send me my own nude
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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