I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
