yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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