i permit you to call me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
