I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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