Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
