Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
