I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The Olympian is in my bed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
