She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
