The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
