My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
