in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize