Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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