if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
