hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
