I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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