grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
