found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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