I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
