If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You're like the curious george of whores
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
