i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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