Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
vagina is talking i cant
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Enjoy the penises
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
