I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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