So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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