the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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