Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
