Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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