Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
