my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh god it's open bar.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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