quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
