Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Are we still banned from the library?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
