I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
