Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
